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the reward

from Oubliette by DELETIST

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Soaring like a warrior
sending sparks into space.
But 2 feet from the finish line
I will fall behind.

It was so close I could taste it
feel it's feather tips brushing my face.
It was so close I could sense it
bubbling just below the surface.

All the rivers of my dreams
come rushing for these clear blue seas.

But since kindergarten until last week
it has always been the case that
2 inches from the closing gate
I will fuck myself over
rip off my breast plate
and watch others
get showered with the love.

Left alone outside the light
No hope no roses no pride
On my agony knees again
Crying lime stones in the waste.

Defeat is my great glittering grand prize.

Smiling, grace bends down
and hands it to me every single time.
Yet I don't regret any of my lonely nights.
Even with this loser's fate
it's been a beautiful life.


from Oubliette, released March 18, 2018


all rights reserved




autonomous clairsentient embracing hopelessness ((((((0))))))


a. b l e a k h a u s
p r o d u k t i o n.

© 2020 deletist
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